Ozzie Velvet
by Autistic-Grizzly
Summary: What if Velvet was hiding something behind that sweet and innocent temperament? written for Australia Day
1. Boofhead

Velvet Scarlatina was always the butt of Cardin Winchester's jokes because for the simple fact that she was a Faunus. A meek and quiet rabbit Faunus, but unknown to most this was an act that she put on so she would be able to hide something very important about. She usually kept her cool and collected while putting on the shy persona, until today where Cardin was pushing her limits by dumping a plate of spaghetti bolognaise onto her head. Of course Teams RWBY and JNPR saw this and was about ready to get into action when Velvet stopped them by holding up her hand once she got rid of the spaghetti from her hair while smiling sweetly.

"Hey Cardin, can you do something for me?" Velvet asked sweetly

"And what would that be?" Cardin chortled

"Come closer" Velvet whispered in a almost out of character way

"What was that?" Cardin asked

"Come closer" she whispered again

"Still can't hear you" Cardin said leaning in with a smirk as he knew what was going to happen or not.

"PISS OFF YOU BLOODY BOOFHEAD!" she shouted making Cardin deaf. You see this was the reason why Velvet acted shy

"Oh shit Velvet's not from Vacuo like she said, she's from Australis!" Yang whimpered.

"Australis?" Weiss asked not knowing what that meant

"Remnant's southern island cotenant. Know for their laid back natures and wild tempers when flared" Blake gulped as she saw that Velvet now had Cardin in a headlock

"I have had a gutful of you and your Drongo mates harassing me and the others, you hear me you damn shonky human being! I swear you are about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike! And if I find out you've been insulting others well I'll make you run around the academy Starkers, you get me ya crook?" Velvet asked with a heavy aussie accent

"YEs ma'am?" Cardin asked before Velvet let make making the Bully Knight run off.

"Oh while you're at it why don't you point Percy to the porcelain before you piss you dacks" Velvet shouted out before sitting down like nothing happened before thinking out "Now that's done, I think I'll chuck a sickie this arvo and have a stubbie" she smiled before looking at her friends.

"G'Day mates" she smiled before reaching into her belt pouch and pulled out a Vegemite Sandwich and a Lamington.

"This day is sure Beaut" she sighed before taking a bite of her sandwich

* * *

><p>AN okay so this was written for Australia Day and those in other countries who are Australian, now you must be asking why Australian for Velvet and not the presumed British? Well this is because the voice actress for Velvet Caiti Ward is originally from Australia and started the Roo Teeth site which is basically the Australian Fan Club from Rooster Teeth and so I know she may not see this but at least its on the net


	2. you little beautie

It was another boring day at Beacon Academy and the rabbit Faunus Velvet was feeling it more than ever. She picked up whatever magazine her all female team Velocity had around at the time, and since they were out of the room Velvet slipped back into her Australis personality. While glancing through the magazine in her hands, filled with beauty and dating tips that made the Faunus giggle out loud

"So for me to get a boyfriend I have to wear fifteen different types of makeup, bugger all clothing and fancy knickers right? Man these sheilas are a bit nuts if you ask me" she chortled before discarding the mag and picking up another and reading then tips in that

"So basically accord to this Blokes like either a ditzy blonde or a bushfire blonde huh?" she asked looking over to a mirror before smirking

"Velvet that is a Bonza idea" she said getting up and walking over to her cupboard and pulled something out before chuckling

"Perfect"

Cardin was still wary of the Rabbit Faunus after she basically kicked his ass with only her words. He was still scowling after she told him to piss off before he pissed himself. He was now looking for a way to get even with her, when he was distracted as a young woman walked by, she wore a strapless magenta dress with black and pink fishnet stockings and high heels, she had her hair in a light curl

"Well hello, you must be from heaven because you are an angel" Cardin flirted with

"OH I am?" the girl said in a shy manner blushing

"Yeah, you are so how about we go and get some dinner" Cardin said stroking the girl's shoulder

"OF course you can, a nice candle lit dinner and a stroll around the campus?" teh girl asked looking up smiling

"Yeah I would like that" Cardin smiled

"I bet you would you boofhead!"  
>"VELVET" Cardin shouted wide eyed<p>

"Geez Drongo took you bloody long enough!" Velvet chuckled

"But you look, look"  
>"different, that was aiming for you boofhead" Velvet said smilingg as she walked off before stopping<p>

"You may be a boofhead, but you are capable of being a softy" Velvet said kissing Cardin's cheek.

"Really?" Cardin asked

"Fair dinkum" Velvet winked as she was walking off

"Struth" Cardin said standing there shocked


	3. New Team

"Struth, so these are my new teammates?" Velvet asked looking shocked at the vice principal of Beacon Goodwitch as she handed the rabbit faunus her new team's files.

"So who we got?" Velvet asked

"Remember these are just code names until they arrive" Goodwitch said

"Okay, well let's just have a lookies shall we?" Velvet said walking off with the files

"Deity help them deal with her" Goodwitch sighed walking off.

"Now to check out my mates" Velvet said opening the first file and seeing the female member

"Okay, so this Sheila codenamed Beret is apparently a Digger, and with that much firepower I wouldn't want her to chuck a wobberly" Velvet said as she scanned the pages, she was scared of this girl losing her temper. "Note to self lock up the shelia's weapons up when not in the field or class

"Okay next is a bloke codenamed Stinger, probably from those bladed gauntlets, not much info on this bloke, judging by his noggin, he could possibly be a Faunus. But its hard to make out. But that's what you get for trading teams midway through the first year" Velvet said looking over his file. "But I have a feeling this bloke may be from Australis like me, judging by the tanned skin he must be a beachie" Velvet said turning to the third on

"And Lastly we have codenamed Hunter, gentle giant, but could be otherwise" Velvet murmured as she viewed the new teammate, spear like weapons, probably a ranger from what I could deduce; but liek I said with Stinger and Beret I could only be speculating. Maybe he'll give Cardin a run for his money, I mean he's a good looking bloke, what are you say Vel, you've been dating Cardin for a while now and I'm pretty sure that you were caught by Snowy and Rubes making out in your underwear" Velvet muttered as a knock sounded on her door  
>"Come in" Velvet said getting up.<p>

"So what do you think?" Goodwitch said

"I'm not saying anything major until we work together" Vevely said "But Beret's temper could be an issue, Stinger looks like a Faunus with his hair and Hunter could not communicate much, but IU'm sure we'll get along just fine"

"And for you know that could be teh complete opposite of what you said" Goodwitch said leaving.


	4. BLT

"Cardin honey, you're doing it again" Velvet said nibbling her salad

"Doing what honey bun?" Cardin asked, before Velvet indicated his plate full of meat.

"OH shit, sorry Vel, I forget about this" Cardin said

"No worries, I understand that a bloke likes his meat, but cannot you not do it in front of me, when all I have this is self insulting rabbit-food" Velvet said placing her fork down

"I forgot about that" Cardin said "Why don't you eat meat?" he inquired, only to be answered with silence. Why didn't she eat meat

"I have no idea, I better go talk to this Shelia I know about this" Velvet said leaving after taking a few more bites of salad

"I have no idea, if Rabbit Faunus can eat meat or not, I'm a cat Faunus so I wouldn't know, but I thought all Faunus were omnivorous because we have animal features such as tails or ears, enhanced eyes sight, increase agility but I never thought it would affect or diet" Blake said thinking about it

"But don't you guys show that somehow, I mean you eat a ton of Tuna and Sun enjoys Bananas to the level of addiction, so it should make sense that Velvet and Rabbit Faunus in extension should be a vegetarian, if not a vegan" Weiss said

"Maybe we should test it just in case" Ruby said

"Well something does smell good" Velvet said

'OH NO!' the RW member thought

"Okay so who wants some Bacon?" Yang shouted out

"What's Bacon?" Velvet asked making everyone freeze "Geez can't be that good can it?

"Want to try some?" Yang asked receiving Velvet's shrug as an answer.

"Ok so this is a what?"

"A BLT sandwich, Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato" Yang said placing it down in front of Velvet who looked nervous about trying some meat

"Remember if you don't like it you don't have to eat it all" Blake said worried about her friend

"Want us to get the medic ready?" Weiss asked

"May as well" Yang said opening her scroll, bringing up the school contacts list and pulled out her mobile and input the number, thumb hovering over the call button as Velvet took a bite out of the sandwich, chewing it with a face of uncertainty before gulping and shrugged before finishing it off.

"Huh I guess Faunu are Omnivores" Blake said

"That was beaut" Velvet said putting her plate on the sink "Thanks, Yang that was an interesting experiment"

"Any side effects?" Ruby asked

"Nah I'm rigfht as rain, well I better go back to Cardin and see what that bloke of mine is up to, hopefully those boofheads of his team aren't doing anything" Velvet said about to leave whne Weiss cleared her throat

"What's up Snowy?" the Rabbit Faunus

"I've been looking over the Datanet and it does say that Rabbit Faunus can eat a small amount of meat, unlike their animal counterparts. However there are a couple types of meat they should stay around, chief among being rabbit, horse, ostrich and alligator. Meats like Pork, Duck, Pheasent and some fish such as Tuna, Perch, Trout and Sailfish can be eaten in moderation. While the best types of meat for Rabbit Faunus are Beef, Lamb, Chicken, Turkey and Kangaroo" Weiss said

"Struth, well better go I'm gonna throw Skip on the Barbie for Cardin to try" Velvet said leaving

"WHo in their right mind eats Kangaroo?" Ruby asked

"Australis" Blake said


	5. Yandere vs Ozzie

**Hey Guys Grizz here with a special chapter of Ozzie Velvet featuring Yandere Velvet from the Weiss Reacts/ Velvet's obsession fanfic in a special interfanfic cross over**

**now if you want to read those fic, please do consider they're jam pack with fun and antics. Now I'm using the Velvet's Obsession version which was written by merikflame, so thank you for writing such a wonder AU version of Velvet.**

**Later in the fic when the two Velvets interact with each other Ozzie Velvet is Velvet1 and Yandere!Velvet is Velvet2**

**so sit back, relax and grab a cold one and enjoy Yandere vs Ozzie**

* * *

><p>"What happened?" a young rabbit Faunus looking around, seeing the familiar setting of Beacon<p>

"Pi"

"Vivi!" the young girl said "Are you alright, did that crazy cat hurt you?" she asked revealing herself to be an inter-dimensional version of Velvet Scarletina, only this one was a little, no wait majorly unstable. This Velvet was obsessed with trying to make heiress Weiss Schnee fall in love with herself, from the help of her living Weiss Schnee plushie Vivi, and the odd addition of Kiki, a plush version of her made by the Blake of her dimension, which stay there. Oddly Blake was trying to reason with her once again

"We better go and find Weiss-Chan" Velvet2 said.

"Shit, there was an inter-dimensional anomaly around here, and judging by the energy reading something came out this end, and if there remain here the effects will be unknown" Blake said

"Man, this is cutting into my gaming time, we better get Velvet, she's a good tracker" Weiss said

"I agree, so what am I tracking?" Velvet asked

"Something from a different dimension, think you can?" Blake asked

"Is there any traces left here?" Velvet asked looking at the spot they surrounded.

In the bushes sat Velvet2 and Vivi, who looked out seeing Weiss, Blake and Velvet standing where she had landed

"Its Weiss-Chan" she cheered

"Pi pipipipipi!"

"That can't be me, could it?" Velvet2 asked, "And is that what my hair looks like?"

"Pipi" Vivi shrugged

"Who cares, I'll get the shark and sorbet"

"Pi pipipipi pi" Vivi deadpanned

"What do you mean that won't work?" Velvet2 asked

"Pi, pipipi pi pipipi pi, Pi?" Vivi asked

"So we're in another dimension, so Weiss could have a different set of favourite things? Oh don't be silly Vivi, all Weisses are the same"

"Pi, pipipipi*?" Vivi asked before Velvet ran away "Pi pipi (Oh man)" she squeaked going to run off only to feel weaker than usual "Piiii"

"Hey what's this?" Velvet asked picking up Vivi who looked in pain "Well stone the crows! a living plushie, who made you little one" she asked trying to energize Vivi.

"Pi" Vivi groaned

"Life Dust, what like our healing green dust? No wonder you're in trouble little sheila, our green dust doesn't animate things just heals what Aura can't" Velvet explained placing the sick plushie on her shoulder

"Pi, pipipi pipipiii" Vivi said closing her eyes

"So your dimension's version of me created you in order for her to win your dimension's Weiss' heart only she's got the hots for Jono and Rubes?"

"Pi pipipi?" Vivi asked

"Jaune Arc and Ruby Rose, geez this is about as clear as mud" Velvet said putting some green dust in her hand before tipping it onto Vivi "There you are, hopefully that helps"

"Pi" Vivi nodded feeling better

"Now I just need to grab something" Velvet said walking off with the living plushie on her shoulder.

"So what came out of the portal?" Ruby asked reading a comic book

"Don't know, Velvet's investigating and tracking whatever came out of the portal" Weiss said playing a fighting game not noticing the shark plushie on a piece of fishing line

"Hey a shark" Yang said

"Shark Where?" Blake panicked jumping up and cowering on Yang's bunk

"It amazes me that a cat can be afraid of a fish" Ruby deadpanned

"Shut up Ruby! What if it was a spider huh or a...a...what are you scared of?" Blake asked showing only to golden eyes from under Yang's quilt

"Not saying" Ruby said

"She's scared of" Yang chuckled  
>"Snip, snip" Ruby said, as she noticed a bowl of vanilla sorbet slid in<p>

"Okay that's just weird" she said as she poked it, making the bowel move backward "Er Weiss"

"Yes Ruby"

"Why is there a bowel of sorbet in the floor?"

"I don't know what flavour is it?"  
>"Vanilla, I think" Ruby answered making WBY look at it<p>

"Vanilla Sorbet?" Blake asked

"Why not Yang said picking up the bowel, only to be stuffed into a burlap sack dragged out into the corridore

"YANG!" the team shouted rushing into the hallway to see Velvet2 drag away Yang away.

"Quick after her" Ruby said as she and Blake raced off, "Er Weiss?"

"But I just got up to the boss" Weiss complained being dragged away by Ruby.

Velvet2 was chuckling while she carried her sack

"Cheer up Weiss-chan after a nice dinner consisting of glazed roasted beef and vanilla sorbet we'll finally kiss" Velvet2 said turning the corner

'I'm MWbg" Yang said

"Oh you're right you need a dress" Velvet2 chirped stopping before a massive knife hit the wall right in between her ears.

"Hold your horses that love, drop the Shelia and we won't have any problems you tropo bitch" Velvet1 said

"No This is my Weissie-chan you can't have her" Velvet2 said

"Struth I knew she...me...I would be off the deep in, but this girl is a few peas shy of a pod" Velvet1 said

"Pi" Vivi sighed running over to her Velvet as the rest of Team RWBY came up  
>"Velvet?" Weiss<p>

"Oh shit! Snowy get out of here!" Velvet1 shouted

"WEISS-CHAN!" Velvet2 shouted death hugging Weiss, "Oh you look so cute in glasses. Now we go on our date"

"Bunny say what?" Weiss said shocked.

"Yeah, she kind of plays for the other team in her world" Velvet1 said pulling out a boomerang and throwing it, knocking her out.

"Not to mention, her version of you is into Shark plushies, Vanilla Sorbet and has a thing for both Jaune and Ruby" Velvet1 said

"Say what, no way, I don't exactly swing that besides. I see Ruby like a sister not a wife" Weiss said as Velvet2 was regaining her consciousness, only to be knocked out by a billy can.

"Well, gotta go" Velvet1 said.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty, come on wakie wakie hands off er, can't use that" Velvet1 said

"Pipipipipi?" Vivi asked

"She doesn't exactly have a um...'snakey'...does she?" Velvet1 asked

"Pipipi?" Vivi asked

"That thing Bloke's use to take a leak, you know, the missus best friend" Velvet one said earning a blank stare from the plushie. "You know: Percy, the meat and two veg, the wedding tackle, The crown jewels" she said before sighed rubbing her eyes and clearing saying "The things sheila's don't have...aka a pair of balls"

"Piiii, Pi" Vivi said getting it before shaking her head

"Good, anyway" Velvet1 said as Velvet2 started to groan

"Well g'day sleeping beauty, have a nice nana nap" Velvet1 said

"What happened Weiss-chan?" Velvet2 asked before looking down to see herself tied to a log hanging over a misty abyss "What!" she asked

"Ah, you see you've finally indentified that you are tied to a log hang over the very top of Jasper Gorge deep in the Emerald Forest, emphasis on deep. Anywho a mishap in your dimension has brought you to mine. And in the time you've been here: you've tried to kidnap my friend, prepared what appear to be vent escape antics, only we use ducts, not air vents and you stuff a dear friend of mine into a sack and thereby ruffling both her feather and her hair. Not to mention you...'HEY Grizz, cut the dramatic music will you!' Also add breaking the forth wall to the list. Not to mention you assumed that Weiss enjoy shark plushies and vanilla sorbet, instead of Hot White Choc sundaes and a plushie of the Dinobot Grimlock, speaking of" Velvet1 ranted before indicated below the two Velvets, to see a life size replica of the Age of Extinction Grimlock's Trex mode looking up

"WHAT IS THAT!" Velvet2 shouted

"A replication of Grimlock from the Last Transformers movie, it's a present for her next birthday." Velvet1 said smirking as the Grimlock opened its jaws. Above which a massive blue portal opened up and what appeared to be Ren popped his upper torso up

"Oh there you are Velvet, we've been worrying about you for some time now, sorry I got you caught up in my antic...again. Wait is that?"

"G'Day mate" Velvet1 said winking

"An Australis version. What's going on" Ren said hoisting himself up onto the branch pulling out a small knife. The size of the knife made Velvet huffed

"That's not a knife" Velvet1 said pulling something out of her belt as Ren was trying to cut the ropes before the object she pulled out was thrown into a rope

"That's a knife!" she smirked as the rope was cut, unraveling and releasing the Yandere Velvet back into her dimension; along with Vivi and Ren.

"And don't come back!" Velvet shouted as the portal closed

"That was close" Velvet sighed sitting down on the log and pulled out a stubbie of ginger beer and started to down it.

"This is nice" she said enjoying the quiet

_YandereDimension_

_"And we're back" Ren said _

_"Pi" Vivi sighed_

_"we're back, we're safe" Velvet sighed before stretching as Vivi jumped up on her head and smiled, happy to be back at full health_

_"Come on, we have to find Weiss-chan and make sure that red nuisance or blonde idiot got to her while we were away" Velvet said_

_"And in five, four three, two and One!" Ren said flourishing his hands, Velvet screamed as a gallon of slime and custard was dumped onb her, before several stacks of pancakes covered her_

_"Nora Breakfast" Ren shouted walking off._


	6. Team VLCT's Fate

"Hey Velvet?" Coco her new partner and teammate asked "What happened to your old team?"

"You know I would like to know as well" Yatsuhashi said as he stirred a bowl of cake mix.

"Now, now we mustn't crowd into her old team, it might be painful" Fox said reading a book on game cheats.

"Not really buncha dumb bimbo Shelias anyway" Velvet said

"So what happened?" Coco said moving behind Velvet and starting to plat her hair

"Of course

"I was a part of team VLCT. An all girl's team much like RWBY, I was team leader and there was Lace Whitely, Calico Rackson and Tartan Wallace . I was the leader and Calico was my partner or so I thought turns out Calico Rackson was a thief hired by a weapons manufacturing company called Spectral munitions. They discovered that a lot of students here have their own unique weapons, so they hired Calico to steal as many weapons as they could from Weiss' Myrtrenaster, Jaune's Crocea Mors, Cardin's mace but their main prize was Crescent Rose. It turns out the man who hired Calico was an old Rival of Ruby's uncle and wanted to steal their family's iconic weapon and seel it to the masses as an act of revenge. Anyway I discovered her trying to pry open Ruby's locker and brought her top Goodwitch, her punishment: Expulsion and 2-5 years in jail for attempted sabotage" Velvet recollected

"Nice so what happened to the others?" Fox asked sharpening his blades as he looked over to his friend

"Yeah, I mean you must have had Lace and Tartan with you" Yatsuhashi said placing the cake mix into a portable microwave he brought before starting on the frosting for his cake.

"Yeah, those two, well let me get the worse of those two out of the way, Tartan Wallace!" Velvet sneered.

"Why did you?" Coco asked

"Do you need a drink of tea?" Yatushasi asked.

"I'm fine" Velvet said before taking some deep breathes and started her tale.

"Tartan Wallace was what many could consider a loose cannon, but she was something far worse than a loose cannon. The reason why she wanted to be a huntress repulsed me, for she was the worst kind of Huntress." Velvet paused "So much so I don't want to even vocalise what the bitch was, that's how much she disgusted me. Anyway, it was Team JNPR who caught her, they were strolling along when they heard the screams of someone dying painfully. They raced in to see that happened. Tartan was standing over a corpse and she was drenched in blood, she had a wicked smiled on her face. Now the next bit I'll gloss over considering it was a fight between the five of them, but JNPR emerged victorious and brought Tartan to the police, where she is now waiting for her trial and hopefully I'll never have to see her ever again" Velvet snarled that last part

"Oh shit Vel" Coco said hugging teh rabbit Faunus "Are you alright?" the human girl said

"Yeah I am now" Velvet said trying to hold back her tears

"What happen, what did she do that repulsed you so much?" Fox asked

"Yeah, it couldn't have been that bad could it?" Yatsuhasi asked

"I'll tell them, Gusy for a couple of years now they has been a sub-faction of Hunters called Beast Hunters, or what they should be called: Faunus Hunters" Coco said

"Wait, people are using their Hunter training to attack Faunus WHY!" Fox said

"Because people are starting to believe that all Faunus now view the White Fang as Heroes and the next step in Faunus Liberation. When actually the White Fang are usually viewed as misguided terrorists by their own kind" Coco said

"Okay that is gut wrenchingly sickening" Fox hissed.

"But hopefully the last one will have a happy ending" Yatsuhashi said

"Yeah she does" Velvet said wiping away her tears.

"Well then it seems as we have the best for last" Coco chuckled.

"Lace Whitely and I were the last two members of Team VLCT, and let's face it our partners were gone and something was up with Lace, she looked a little nervous. That was until one day she approached me to say she's retiring from the Huntress lifestyle. She had a sort of anxiety about it, plus she wanted to retire so she could focus on the little miracle in her womb, turns out Lace was pregnant with her boyfriend being the father so she decided to leave to focus on motherhood" Velvet explained.

"So you still see her?" Coco asked

"Yep, every now and then I babysit for her" Velvet said smiling as her scroll went off. "Speaking of which"

"Okay, we'll save you some cake" Fox said lounging back smiling as the Rabbit left to do her secondary job.

"So that's what happened to her old team huh?" Yatsuhashi asked

"A mix of bad, evil and good, shit how can we compete with that?" Fox asked

"We don't" Coco said "Because we're better"


	7. Shipping

"What the heck is this?" Vevlet asked picking up the book and recognising its origins "Aw shit that bloody little Yandere Shelia! Great now she has left us this shipping manifesto! I wonder what is in it?" she asked opening it up

"Hey Vel" Coco said "Why do you have a manifest of a ship?"

"I don't think its that kind of ship!" Velvet said "You remember that Bizzaro version of me a couple weeks back?" Velvet asked

"Yeah why?" Coco said

"Because I think she just left this book here, and I'm thinking we should analyse it back in the dorm room" Velvet said "Who know what kind of tropo bullshit is in here"  
>"Good idea, I hate to see waht would happen if this got into his hands"<br>"Hey Cardin's not so bad"  
>"I wasn't talking about Cardin, I was talking about him" Coco said as Mercury passed by<p>

"Ladies" Mercury saluted

"Or arguably Neptune" Coco said

"Good point." Velvet said

"So this is the Shipping Manifesto, huh so you want to open it first?" Coco asked

"Sure thing, WHOA!" Velvet said

"What is it?"  
>"This bloody book has a ton on names in"<p>

"Any we recognise?" Coco asked

"Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Jaune even you and me" Velvet said

"Wait what?" Coco asked

"I'm going and looking up Blake" Velvet said

"Be careful we don't know what it is" Coco whispered

"Struth check this out: Bumblebee, Ladybug, Monochrome, Iceberg, Eclipse" Velvet read out

"Okay my turn with Weiss: White Rose, Freezerburn, Monochrome, Snow Angel, Frozen Lotus, Songbird! What are these!" Coco shouted

"Oh shit look, Blake and Weiss both have the Monochrome in their sections. I think this is one of those couples book" Velvet said

"So we figure who each is paired with and the name behind it, besides I think most of these are yuri pairings"

"Well that doesn't work, because most of us are straight, I mean JNPR go out on group dates. Sun is into Blake, Neptune can't make his mind up over Yang or Weiss, You're dating Cardin, Ruby wouldn't even know how to date let alone who or what a boyfriend is, Ozpin's got secretly married to Goodwitch" Coco said

"Actually, I saw Yang and Neptune making out" Velvet commented

"Well, that's a shocker"

"Plus I heard Weiss has a fiancé already or something"

"And Cinder's goons are practically married" Coco grunted.

"Maybe we can get that Scarlet guy to Date Ruby"

"What like you mean as in a date date?"

"Why not, is there a name for those two in here?" Velvet asked

"Hang on Ruby, White Rose, Red Sun, Enabler that's gross if it was I think it is. Red Sea, Crimons Lotus Nuts and Dolts...she's paired with Penny that's nuts. Ah here we are: Blood Diamond" Coco said

"Um, I think that's Cinder and Weiss. Scarlet and Ruby is this one Red Jewel" Coco said

"Whoa, check out ours: Nesquik Bunny" Velvet said looking at her friend "Well now that just seal its fate, should we?"  
>"Yep" Coco said getting some matches. "I'll get the kindling"<p>

"Now we shal now procede in burning this idiotic book" Velvet said striking a match while Coco dose the book in lighter fluid

"See ya" Coco chuckled as she dropped the mathc on the book, creating an explosion.

"Well, that's that" Velvet shrugged "I just want to know how that troppo Velvet dropped it?"

"Well who knows, Carrot Cake?" Coco asked

"Well that sounds nice, but I think I'll have a dog's eye with a bit of dead horse"

"Dead Horse?" Coco asked

"You know a Meat Pie and Tomato Sauce" Velvet shrugged

"Oh, well that does sound more appertising then what ever you suggested." Coco shrugged

"Geez Shelia I'll have to introduce you to some Australis food" Velvet said walking off.


	8. Local Cuisine

"Alright its finally here!" Velvet cheered

"What did Vel?" Fox asked

"Just a food package for my folks back home" Velvet said "And there's enough for you guys to try as well"

"What kind of food?" Coco asked

"The kind only found in Australis!" Velvet chuckled

"Oh boy" Coco grimaced

"HEY We have some nice food down under!" Velvet said a bit peeved

"Like what?" Fox asked

"I'll show just leave the dorm while I get ready"

Half an hour later the rest of CFVY walked back into their dorm where Velvet had several types of Australis food on the coffee table, and four cups of hot chocolate waiting for them

"Smells delicious" Yatsuhashi the team's baker said sitting down with Coco joining him as Fox sat opposite them and looked at the food

"shall we?" Velvet asked

"Sure, where do start?" Coco asked before Yatsuhashi picked up a cube like cake covered in coconut

"Good choice Yatsu, that's a Lamington, sponge cake covered in chocolate and coconut" Velvet said as the others took one as well and savoured the taste

"Yummy, I think I'm falling in love" Coco said as Fox picked up some kind of nut.

"Ah Macadamias or Bush nuts" Velvet said taking some for herself and popping them in her mouth.

"What is this?" Fox asked placing some black spread on a piece of bread thickly before Velvet could stop him

"Wait Fox that's...Vegemite" Velvet winced as Fox gagged on it

"What is that stuff?" Fox coughed before Velvet handed him a cup of hot chocolate

"Yeast extract, a by-product of Beer production" Velvet said smiling "It takes a while to get use to it"

"Thanks for the warning" Fox said picking up a chocolate "Please tell me this is chocolate"

"Yep, that's a Tim-Tam" Velvet said "A chocolate biscuit covered in chocolate, plus you can do this" she grabbed a Tim tam and bit opposing corners off and stuck in her drink before taking a big gulp of it which afterwards she quickly shoved the treat in her mouth.

"What was that?" Coco asked wanting to try it for herself.

"A Tim-Tam Slammer, you basically bite opposing corners off and then getting a cup of hot chocolate you suck the drink through the Tim-Tam melt the chocolate on the inside making it gooey"

"Gooey?" Yatsuhasi asked

"Gooey" Velvet said as Coco picked up a pastry

"A meat pie right?" Coco asked taking a bite of it, getting a tasty mouthful of gravy and beef mince. Then she grabbed the Tomato sauce and squirted some on the pie before taking a big bite of it, adding the tangy Tomato Sauce with the beef and gravy was mind-blowing. Fox than grabbed a biscuit

"Anzac biscuits, they made from Australis troops who went to the war, they wouldn't spoil on the ships so the troops had something nice to eat" Velvet explained as Fox took a bite

"Not bad" Fox said before he saw some sausages before gulping the mouthful of biscuits

"Spotted the snags huh?" Velvet asked as Fox took one after finishing his biscuit and devoured the sausage before going for some more while Coco took a piece of bread with sprinkles on it.

Sprinkled Bread?" Coco asked

"Close, its fairy bread" Velvet corrected her

"And these?" Fox asked waving a sausage around

"Those are Kanga Snags" Velvet said

"Kanga Snags?" Fox asked before it clicked "Oh no, I just ate Skippy!"

"Ah Fox, Skippy was a puppet" Velvet said "But yes those are Kangaroo flavoured sausages"

"Not bad" Fox said

"Come on Yats, mung on a bit of this" Velvet said passing Yatsuhashi a circle of pink meat

"What is it?" Yatsuhashi said hesitating

"In the east they call it Devon, down south it's called Fritz, but all I know is it's something made from Pork" Velvet replied getting a small biscuit with fondant and raspberry jam

"An Iced VoVo, I remember my uncle bringing me some of these when I was young" Coco sighed. For the rest of the nigh the team laughed and flinched tasting soem of teh local cuisine from their friend's hoem region.


	9. Translation

"RIGHT WHERE IS THAT SHONKY BLOKE RUSSEL!" Velvet roared with wet green hair clinging to her friend as she fumed "When I find him I'm going to play Aerial Ping Pong with his goolies!" the bunny Faunus roared "That's after he's flat out like a lizard drink running for his life, better hope I don't make him cark it"

"Velly, sweetie you're speaking Aussie again" Cardin said "So what di you say?"

"Do you want me to break it down for you sweetie?"

"Yes please" Cardin said

"Okay Russel is a Shonky Bloke, means he's a dubious man" Velvet said

"Shonky being dubious?" Cardin asked

"Yep, next I threatened to play aerial ping pong with his goolies, in other words I was going to use his balls for a game of Aussie Rules football" she evilly smirked while Cardin covered himself.

"And Flat out like a lizard drinking means busy I take it?" Cardin asked

"Yep" Velvet said "So up for a Stubby this Arvo?"

"A what this what?"

"A stubbie this Arvo, basically a beer this afternoon" Velvet said swaying her hip

"Wait you drink?" Cardin asked

"come on" she laughed dragging him away

"Struth" Cardin said

"Now you're getting it" she giggled.

"Okay so I'm a Bluey because I have red hair?" Cardin asked chowing down on some scones.

"Yep, nwo when I say She'll be right it means?" Velvet asked

"Its no problem right?" Cardin asked

"Correct" Velvet nodded as Cardin thought about something

"What did you mean when you said: why don't you point Percy to the porcelain before you piss you dacks?"

"Oh basically take a piss before you wet you pants" Velvet blushed

"Ph and you're like an ashtray on a motorcycle?" Cardin said as she curled up in his lap

"You're useless or incompetent" Velvet said before kissing him "But now I think you're a top bloke"

"That's a good thing I take it?"

"It is, its a fair dinkum compliment"  
>"Cheers" Cardin said kissing her back.<p>

"So you want to pash huh?" Velvet asked

"I take it a pash is making out?" Cardin asked before Velvet kissed him passionately

"Struth, that was tops"

"Dinky Di sweetie, its dinky di, you lovable Boofhead"

"Coem here" Cardin said as Vel snuggled up to him

"Want to watch a flick?"

"A Flick?" Cardin puzzled asked

"Movie" Velvet explained

"Sure" Cardin said

Tne next day Russel run a foul of Velvet once again

"Oh crap" he whimpered

"Get Back here you bastard!" Velvet shouted

"Oh m,an, Velvet" Cardin shouted

"Not this time, this Ratbag is getting what's coming to him" Velvet roared

"Oh coem Russ, its all just stop running" Cardin shouted

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Russel asked

"Yes, please just stop she won't hurt you" Cardin begged

"Are you kidding after I'm done with him he'll need a nappy!" Velvet shouted

"A what?"

"A diaper you drongo" Cardin said

"Where's a thong when you need it" Velvet said

"VELVET!" Cardin freaked

"I forgot our definition of thong is different, to you a thong is a skimpy bit of underwear, while to me a thong is a flip-flop" Velvet explained

"Oh okay," Cardin smiled

"Great the dropkick pissed off!" Velvet stomped her foot down

"Come on" Cardin sighed pulling Velvet off

"Why?" Velvt huffed

"Simple we're chucking a sickie" Cardin said  
>"Sweet, no classes until tomorra" Velvet said happily before climbing on Cardin's back.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for joining this series from its humble oneshot origins to now eight chapters later! but now it is time to finish the series but that does not mean that Ozzie Velvet will stop existing, oh no! she'll be back better then ever<strong>

**Now to my Australian fans I say cheers for joining me on this bonza ride and to my international fans I say: Thanks for joining me on this awesome ride. Seriously do you know how happy I feel when I read how much you guys laughed at this series. **

**So until next time I'll see you on the flipside Down Under**


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